This blog post is by Niki G., Flowing Wells Library, and Amy P., Murphy-Wilmot Library. In it, they describe their individual experiences and perspectives on adoption as well as some history regarding National Adoption Month, Week, and Day.
Niki G.
I’m a transracial adoptee, adopted from Korea as a baby by a white family in the Midwest. I was raised during a time when families were encouraged to be ‘colorblind’ and thoughts of my race or ethnicity were not really discussed or acknowledged though as a child, I knew I looked different from the rest of my family. There are excellent books and memoirs that reflect the varied experiences and disconnected feelings that transracial adoptees have so I won’t go into great detail here but summarize that I have struggled with my identity for most of my life – having an Asian face but lacking an Asian culture, experiencing racism and microaggressions but not having another family member with whom to process those encounters, and additionally, experiencing a form of racism within my family. My father worked for General Motors for most of his career and disparaged Japan and Japanese cars, which caused me to have internal conflict because many people (including other Asian people I encountered) assumed I was Japanese. It wasn't until I went to Washington University in St. Louis for my undergraduate degree that I encountered Asian youth who were Americanized like me. Though they were mostly 2nd generation, I found a community that I could relate to, who experienced straddling two different cultural worlds.
I eventually came to terms with the fact that my adopted parents did their best with what they knew. I am not against adoption as a practice, so long as the adopted family takes great care to consider what the adoptee is going through and provides cultural connectedness if they adopt from outside of their culture. I appreciate my family but I will always wonder what my biological family was or is like and for me, there is a missing piece – that “question mark” – that I carry with me.
Amy P.
I had always known that I was adopted since I was a kid. I knew that I was adopted before I was born and that my mom held my biological mom’s hand in the hospital room while giving birth to me. Those were the only facts I was ever told. I don’t quite remember when or how I knew I was adopted. It could have been the fact that my three older brothers had a different skin color than mine, but I feel like I knew for longer than that. It was never an issue for me growing up. The kids at my elementary school were well experienced with what adoption meant, since we had a few foster families who attended my school. I remember explaining to my classmates that I wasn’t in a foster home, that I was adopted before I was born, and that my adoptive parents names were on my birth certificate. I was part of the family and there was no question about it.
It wasn’t until I turned 28 years old when I discovered the complexities of my adoption. I discovered that I knew my biological mom all along. She just happened to be my brother’s cousin, my mom’s niece, and my “aunt's” daughter. As it turned out, I was biologically related to my adoptive mother’s side of the family. My whole family kept this a secret from me for 28 years.
When you find out you’re adopted, there’s no thought that happens where you think you might actually be related to your adoptive family. My parents told me that I must have been crazy for not finding out sooner, since I looked just like my biological mom. But, as I said before, I knew since I was a kid that I was adopted. I knew what that entailed: my biological parents gave me up and I gained adoptive parents who became my real parents. I never thought for a second that I might have been blood related to any of my family. That wasn’t how I thought adoption worked. One thing is for sure though, adoption is different for everyone. Everyone who experiences adoption in one way or another have vastly different and complex stories. Not all adoption stories are successful stories, and every complex situation has equally complex outcomes. World adoption day is an awareness day for all kinds of adoption.
Learn more!
The month of November is a time to spread awareness about adoption. A recognized adoption awareness week in the United States originated with Massachusetts governor Michael Dukakis in 1976 when Massachusetts celebrated adoption awareness for seven days. In 1984, President Reagan proclaimed the first National Adoption Week and in 1995, President Clinton made November National Adoption Month. A National Adoption Day, established in 1999 by a coalition of national adoption partners, is also observed as a way to raise awareness of the many children who are waiting to be adopted from foster care in the U.S. and is observed on November 23. Internationally, World Adoption Day, which started in 2014 with the “purpose of celebrating family raising awareness for adoption and raising funds to support families in the adoption journey” is observed on November 9.
Though National Adoption Month was originally created to encourage the adoption of children in foster care, adoption awareness also includes learning about the complexities of adoption, identity, belonging, and loss. There is a lot of hidden history about adoption that includes the removal of newborns from unwed mothers and those babies being adopted out and often, the adoptees' perspectives are overlooked.
Generally, when people think of adoption, they consider it to be a positive pairing of a child who is given up by their birth parent(s) for many reasons with a couple who is deeply wanting and seeking a child to complete their family. The “life is better” with a happy outcome can be the narrative for many adopters and adoptees who have gone through this process. Alternately, for many adoptees, especially those who had not located or connected with their birth family (and even for those who have, those encounters can be joyful, or they can be further traumatizing), there is a question mark about their biological family that can be a lifelong mystery.
Sources:
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The History of National Adoption Month | Adoption & Beyond. (2013, November 22).
- Adoption & Beyond. https://adoption-beyond.org/the-history-of-national-adoption-month/
- Home - National Adoption Day. (2024, October 2). National Adoption Day. https://www.nationaladoptionday.org/
- World Adoption Day. (n.d.). World Adoption Day. https://www.worldadoptionday.org/
Books recommended by Niki and Amy:
The month of November is a time to spread awareness about adoption. Though National Adoption Month was originally created to encourage the adoption of children in foster care, adoption awareness also includes learning about the complexities of adoption, identity, belonging, and loss. There is a lot of hidden history about adoption and the adoptees' perspectives are often overlooked. Many of these titles help shed light on the adoptee experience.
Adoption is a beautiful thing. I was adopted as a baby, so this day is very special to me. I've gathered a list of great books for kids all about adoption! Help me celebrate World Adoption Day!
