This blog post is by Morgen D., El Rio Library.
At different points in my life, I have been diagnosed with both Anorexia nervosa and Binge eating disorder, and I have had the immense privilege of having been able to seek fairly consistent professional care for these issues and related mental health concerns (body dysmorphia, negative self-esteem and self-worth, depression, etc.) over the past decade. I am filled with gratitude for my therapists who have helped me through the hardest moments and have equipped me with the tools to keep striving toward recovery, even when I did/do not feel capable of making healthy choices on my own.
Despite the successes I have been fortunate enough to experience as I pursue a life free from eating disorder thoughts and behaviors, there are certain times of year, occasions, situations, and people who still hold the power to trigger unhealthy urges to restrict or binge. In these moments, it can be difficult to ground myself and stay present in the moment.
I am fully aware that these feelings are in no way, shape, or form unique to my eating disorder experience; all of us who share this type of diagnosis can relate. And for most of us living with eating disorders or who are lucky enough to be in recovery, the holiday season comes with its own brand of triggers and challenges - which for healthy folks can sound nothing but positive: indulgent treats and comfort meals abound, families gather, copious amounts of photographs are taken… need I go on?
For me personally, it is during food-based gatherings that thoughts come up that hold the most power to make me stumble during the holiday season. During these moments, I try to keep in mind a phrase a past therapist shared with me that I have attempted to adopt as a mantra of sorts when it comes to my recovery: “Nourish yourself with kindness and respect.”
What applying this advice looks like can vary greatly from circumstance to circumstance. During the holidays, it could be taken literally, as in allowing yourself to enjoy a buttered roll without shame or guilt; or figuratively, like permitting yourself to show yourself kindness by leaving a table where an unhealthy and triggering conversation is taking place. Either way, you are nourishing your body and mind in a way that is respectful to yourself, and that is a win.
In this spirit, I have compiled a short list of three key tips that I personally find especially valuable while nourishing yourself and your health during this time of the year (besides keeping up with treatment and therapy as much as possible).
Set boundaries when body comments or diet talks come up in conversation
Meredith Nisbet (she/her), MS, LMFT, CEDS-S, national clinical response manager at Eating Recovery Center (ERC), shares the below examples and many more in this 2023 ERC article:
- "You know I love you/value you/respect your opinion. I just need you to respect my wishes to not comment on my body."
- "It probably doesn't seem like a big deal to you, but hearing these comments really hurts my self-esteem and how I feel about myself."
- “Sometimes people’s bodies look different – that’s true anywhere and everywhere. The way someone looks isn’t tied to their worth or their health. I’ve been trying to unlearn those stereotypes myself recently.”
Identify your support person(s) ahead of any potentially triggering events
If you don’t feel comfortable approaching a friend or family member about your needs, do not fear- there are text and phone lines available to you 24/7 for eating disorder support in tough moments:
- Crisis Text Line | Text “HOME” to 741741 | crisistextline.org
- ANAD (National Association of Anorexia Nervosa and Associated Disorders) | Call 1 (888) 375-7767 (some holiday closures apply) | anad.org
- National Alliance for Eating Disorders Helpline | Call 1 (866) 662-1235 | allianceforeatingdisorders.com
- Diabulimia Helpline | Call 1 (425) 985-3635 | diabulimiahelpline.org
Respect your self-care needs and protect your peace
Kerry O’Grady Ed.D., National Wellness Liaison for the National Eating Disorders Association (NEDA) since 2018, explains in her 2022 NEDA article that when we are emotional and/or tired, we are most vulnerable to our triggers. There is absolutely no shame in declining invites, staying home to recharge, or setting an exit strategy or firm “leave by” time in order to get sufficient rest.
At the end of the day, I believe that the most nourishing thing we can do is treat ourselves with the utmost kindness, and whether you choose to do so by following these tips or pursuing a different approach, I will be rooting for every one of us during this holiday season and beyond!
With love, Morgen.
