This blog post is by Hilary T., co-founding member of the Synapse Team.
*Trigger warning for topics related to suicide and suicidal ideation.
I had a school acquaintance named Jamie (for the sake of her family I am changing her name for this article). She was a year ahead of me at school. We were friendly, but not close friends. When it was time for me to choose a Catholic school to attend for high school, I went to the school she attended to see if I liked it. More than one teenager turned to me and said, “Don’t come here.” Jamie showed me around school, and I remember thinking that it was kind of her to take an interest in me. I remember she said, “See those girls over there? They are the popular girls. Don’t ever go against them. They will make your life so hard.” I left thinking that she seemed strained compared to her usual self. It seemed that the mixture of bullying and too much pressure from school had left Jamie stressed and depressed. She got caught cheating on a test and decided to end her life. I believe she was fifteen years old. It’s important to know that bullying can be detrimental to someone’s mental health. If I could say anything to her that would have stopped her from making that choice I would have said:
Please stay. Schools can be changed, and no grade is that important. Please stay for the rest of your life away from this school and these people. If right now you feel at the end of your rope, please stay. Please know that this bad time is not final. You have a tomorrow and a next day. There is someone who wants to help you right now. Just reach out. All you have to do is text HOME to 741741 or call 988 anytime day or night. From there you will be connected to a crisis counselor. This counselor will make a plan with you to keep you safe. You will live to see another day full of promise. You will live to have a next day and a next one.
If you are an adult dealing with bullying or are a parent or guardian dealing with the bullying of a child, please check out this article from VeryWellMind that addresses common reasons why people bully. I think it’s good to start here because it helps to answer the question of why people bully others, and also gives some good tips with how to deal with bullies. Please document everything that happens with a bully, either for yourself or on behalf of a child. Document everything in writing. Keep a notebook with the date, time and where the incident took place. Write down who was a witness and about the incident in question thoroughly. For more about workplace bullying please read this article from Healthline. Please consider sending your child to therapy or, if this is workplace bullying, seeing a therapist. If you are a witness of a bullying incident at work or at school, please consider speaking up. Parents, please remember that cyberbullying exists and is a way that tweens and teens can be actively bullied. Consider sharing this video called “Are You Okay?" with kids, tweens and teens to help them understand the amount of damage bullying can do.
If you need help immediately, please call the 988 Suicide Line or text HOME to 741741. If you are part of the LGBTQIA+ community, and you are the victim of bullying please call either of the previously mentioned resources or call the Trevor Project at 1-866-488-7386 or text START to 678-678. For parents and guardians please also see the resources at stopbullying.gov.
Get help
- Ready to connect with a mental health professional? Visit Pima Helpline|You Are Not Alone to be connected with COPE Community Services.
- In a crisis? Text HOME to 741741. Need further support? Call (520) 622-6000 to be connected to the Crisis Response Network.
- Suicide Hotline: dial 988 to be connected immediately to someone who can provide free, confidential support 24/7.
- The Trevor Project provides 24/7 support to the LGBTQIA+ community. Call 1-866-488-7386 or text “Start” to 678-678 to be connected to a counselor.
October is National Bullying Awareness Month, a timely reminder for organizations to take action at the local level to foster safe environments. Here are some books for all ages that address bullying, how to handle it, and how to support yourself and others.
